Fashion Phobia

"If they don't like your looks, they can look the other way!"

~ Fashion advice from my Father

When I was in middle school a fashion show was organized in connection with Home Ec class. A local department store brought in a bunch of outfits--including a much-coveted long prom-type gown. They chose their models from our class and the catwalk-style show was presented to the entire student body in the auditorium.

I was one of only three students chosen NOT to model. 

At the time, I thought, "OMGosh! I'm too ugly to be chosen."

I felt terrible. In retrospect, it probably had more to do with the fact that in a post-Twiggy world, I was the unhappy possessor of a pair of 36C's. Anyway, the damage was done and I decided fashion and I were not destined to be friends.

I recently discovered that the first week of our upcoming cruise is...wait for it...FASHION WEEK! Here's the blurb from the Cunard website:

Now an anticipated annual event in our calendar, we are delighted to once again host Transatlantic Fashion Week on board our flagship liner. Revel in the glamour, dressing up, and unforgettable highlights, as we celebrate the world of fashion.
Guests will have the chance to enjoy catwalk shows, ‘audiences with…’, talks, hosted dinners, and more.Headline names include the Duchess of Sussex’s milliner of choice, Stephen Jones OBE, alongside fashion greats including Stuart Weitzman, Pat Cleveland, Lindy Woodhead, Rosemarie Bravo CBE, and Stanley Tucker.
This crossing is also delighted to welcome back the esteemed fashion experts Colin McDowell MBE, one of the industry’s most senior and respected fashion historians, and Gail Sackloff OBE, consultant to the international fashion industry. The sailing will also feature emerging new designers from some of the world’s leading fashion colleges.

Heavy sigh... however, I'm no longer that self-conscious little 7th grader. Over the years, my hour-glass figure has become more like an hour and a half, but I've found ways to dress that make me feel comfortable and proud of myself. I'll treat the fashion shows and advice on the ship like a smorgasbord--I'll take what I like & leave the rest.

Since Cunard has some pretty strict dress codes, I've already begun to mentally assemble the wardrobe I'll pack. Only thing is I actually need 3 wardrobes--one for kicking around the ship during the day and going on excursions, one for Smart Attire evenings, and one for the 8 formal nights. In the posts to come, I'll share those packing lists and my fashion tips for "ladies of a certain size."

On second thought, today I'm trying to break in a new pair of heels I plan to take by wearing thick fuzzy pink stockings with them, so what do I know? 

PS. Shingles update: I'm well past the whimpering stage of the disease. Now I'm just healing. The right side of my scalp and forehead are pretty numb, which I've learned is to be expected. I feel like I lost the whole month of May. I'll probably start the new non-live virus shingles vaccine protocol in August after our cruise.

When we travel, I always find places to which I long to return. This is one experience I have no desire to repeat.

Nightmares Do Happen...

If I dream it, it will come...

~Me

On May 5th, I experienced the start of the weirdest headache I've ever had. It was localized at the top of my head, just right of the midline and then started going down the side of my head behind my ear. It was excruciating. Then to add to the fun, I started feeling a shock from time to time, as if invisible electrodes had been attached to my scalp and I was being zapped.

I toughed it out for a few days, but by Thursday the DH insisted I go to the doctor. My regular doctor was unavailable so one of his partners diagnosed me with "occipital neuralgia," with means unexplained nerve pain. He prescribed a pain killer that was only supposed to be taken once every 24 hours. 

It did nothing for the pain. Zero. Zip.  Nada.

I did a lot of whimpering until I could finally go back to interchanging Advil and Tylenol. They made the pain manageable, but I couldn't live on the doses required to keep it so. 

Then on Mother's Day night, I dreamed that I had shingles. 

I've had a few prescient dreams in my lifetime. So I wasn't surprised when I woke and discovered a red lesion between my eyebrows and another one doing a good imitation of Harry Potter's scar streaking down my forehead. 

Traditional medicine hadn't helped when the headache warned of bad things to come, so I tried a chiropractor who's a friend of #1 Daughter. By then the entire right side of my scalp was covered with red bumps. She immediately diagnosed shingles. A spinal adjustment can't speed shingles recovery, but it did make me feel a bit better. She also recommended I take Oil of Oregano as a natural antiviral and L-Lysine, an amino acid to aid healing.

But I'm not the sort to rely solely on holistic medicine even after the pain medication fiasco. So the next morning, it was back to traditional medicine where I was seen by the walk-in  physician on duty. His initial suggestion was that I should stop taking my immuno-suppressants (which are what keeps my lung condition from deteriorating) so the antiviral meds he was going to prescribe would work better. 

Firstly, it took quite a while to work up to the dosage of  immuno-suppressants I take. I'd have to step down just as gradually. And it would take even longer for the drugs that would hamper the antivirals to work their way out of my system.

Secondly, (and to my mind most importantly) not taking immuno-suppressants would give NSIP a chance to ravage my lungs unimpeded. Even if I went back on the meds after shingles, I would lose ground I can't make back up.

When I voiced my concerns, the doctor told me I could die of shingles if they went systemic. 

Evidently, he's not used to patients who don't meekly comply and went for the jugular to scare me. But to his credit he did agree that I needed to see an opthamalogist to make sure shingles weren't in my right eye and made the referral for me to be seen immediately. (Long story short, it's not. My eye, if very bloodshot, is fine. Praise God!)

But the walk-in doc did scare me. Fortunately, my regular doc was able to squeeze me in that afternoon. He recognized that I can't stop the immuno-suppressants. The antivirals will just have to work around them. He also reassured me that he'd NEVER seen a case where shingles went systemic. I left feeling much better. 

I am so not ready to die of geriatric chicken pox!

Now I'm just trying not to tear my hair out, to manage the pain, burning and itching, and just let things heal. 

Which brings to me why I decided to share this little trial in the first place. In the weeks and days leading up to our 2018 world cruise, I read on the Cruise Critic roll call message board of different couples who had to cancel their travel plans because of last minute health issues. I felt so bad for them and realize it can happen to anyone. 

According to Mayo Clinic, it takes 2-6 weeks to recover from shingles. I should be all better by the time we head for NYC to board the Queen Mary at the end of July.

But what if this had happened closer to the time of our departure? Or worse, once we were bobbing around in the North Atlantic? 

So, with all the love in my heart, let me urge you to RUN, don't walk, to get the new shingles vaccine. I couldn't take the old one because it used live virus, but I've discovered the new one does not. The new protocol requires 2 injections given 2-6 months apart. The DH has had his first injection and my doc recommends that I get it too once I recover. 

Evidently, it is possible to have shingles more than once. Since once has given me a fresh appreciation for the suffering of Job, once is more than enough.