Slight Seas, Sixty-eight Degrees

The journey, not the arrival matters. ~ T.S. Eliot

July 31, 2019

It’s our fourth day on board the Queen Mary, and I’m still a bit befuddled at times. Usually, I have an excellent sense of direction, but each time I come out of an elevator, I inevitably turn the wrong way. I think it may be because our stateroom is on the port side, and we were on the starboard for those 96 days on the Pacific Princess last year. Anyway, the DH or one of the sharp-eyed crew usually notices my bewilderment and points me in the right direction presently.

All my watercolor creations are a product of by-guess and by-golly, but it's sure fun to play with!

Yesterday we started with a customs inspection. All passengers were required to present their room card and passport to British immigration agents so they can check our backgrounds before we land on English soil on Sunday. We were subjected to the same routine questions we always get when we cross a border. (What’s your business in the UK? How long will you stay?) All perfectly normal and reasonable. Only the US seems conflicted about keeping track of who enters our country.

Our patient painting teacher

 Then we went for the 2^nd watercolor class. Even though neither of us is a budding undiscovered artist, the process is surprisingly relaxing. Just like Robert Lewis Stephenson said about travel—“The destination is unimportant. The great affair is to move!”

And speaking of moving…we went to the waltz class yesterday morning and discovered that I can dance with my DH to a slow ¾ time without becoming horribly winded. It was such a joy. We remembered a number of steps from our previous classes, including a clever little chausee. I was thrilled!

Dance instructors demo a steamy tango while the excellent band plays on!

In the afternoon, we attended a piano concert. The artist was Ray Leonard from Australia. He was wonderful. Cunard is living up to the standards of my musical snobbery quite well.

Then we went to the planetarium show called “Dark Matter.” It was fascinating. Such a novelty to have a planetarium on a cruise ship.

At supper, all our table mates must have been homesick for their dogs, because we all swapped pictures of our pets on our phones. One lady had even gone to the kennel area of the ship to see other people’s pets to get her “puppy fix.”

from left to right--Debbie, her son Jack, Arthur & Jean, Debbie's daughter Imogen, her Aunt Gillian, me & the DH

The evening entertainment was comedian Mark Palmer. Born in South Africa and now a Londoner, he was witty and quick and had us all roaring with laughter. I’ll be glad to see him again before we reach Southampton.

  

Tonight is another formal night, which poses a bit of a problem for us. At four, the Green Spring ensemble is giving another concert. Then at five, there’s a rhumba class in the Queen’s Room. By six, we have to be dressed to the nines or hide in our cabin all evening. I don’t mind formal evenings, but I'm not used to having more than one a week. 

Especially when there are so many things to do besides fuss with my hair and make-up. (Okay, Mom, I can see you rolling your eyes from here! I'll try to adjust my attitude about glamming up.) 

More soon…

PS. I'm having trouble uploading pictures. I'll try again later.

PPS. Last night we received a nasty little note saying the DH had presented himself to the customs officials. So he's off this morning to see the Purser and convince them that he has no evil intent towards the UK. His ship card must not have scanned properly in the machine because he was right behind me and I'm golden with Her Majesty's boys in blue.

On Board the Queen Mary 2

July 29th

Embarkation on the 28^th couldn’t have been smoother. Our Cunard transfer was there at the hotel to pick us up at 11:30 and the 40 minute ride to the port in Brooklyn was filled with NYC’s dizzying scenes. The city not only never sleeps. It never stops moving. The busy intersection of so many lives is a little disconcerting to small town folks like ourselves.

The Queen Mary 2 is a lovely ship and in the days to come, I’ll post pictures of this grand vessel, but we still haven’t learned our way around yet. It’s about 5 times the size of the Pacific Princess, though not like a mega cruise ships that bob around in the Caribbean. The QM2 is an ocean liner, which means she cuts through the water like a sleek dolphin. The seas have been slight and we hardly experience the sense of movement save for the deep rumble and slight vibration of her engines.

Our home away from home, Cabin 11026!

Yesterday was our first full day aboard and—shock of shocks!—I slept in till almost 8! (You must understand that usually we’re up at 5:oh-dark-30 AM to let the dogs out.) After a leisurely breakfast at Kings Court (the Lido deck restaurant. We’d forgotten we could’ve gone to the main Britannia Dining Room.) we joined the watercolor class at 10. Ordinarily, I’d think painting and cruising wouldn’t go together, but as I said, we’re enjoying very placid seas. (One of our table mates opted for a fencing class at the same time. Yet another activity that could be contraindicated by a heaving deck!)

We lunched at the main dining room and met some nice folks from Australia. We dine in the evenings with a family from England and a couple from NYC. Directions over the sound system are often repeated in German to accommodate those passengers. Our cabin TV offers movie channels in German, French, Spanish and Japanese. The Queen Mary 2 caters mostly to a British clientele, but welcomes international travelers--like us!

In the afternoon, we attended a concert of the Green Spring International Ensemble, a talented collection of music students from 11-18 years of age. There were 4 harpists, a string quartet, and three pianists along with a choir. A 17 year old diva performed the Queen of the Night aria from Mozart’s Magic Flute. It’s piece that has struck fear into the heart of many a more experienced soprano, but she popped off all 5 of the F’s above high C with ease. This group will be performing several more times on our way to Southampton.

Serenaded by strings during High Tea

After the concert, we attended high tea in the Queen’s Room complete with finger sandwiches and so many decadent sweets I can’t imagine why the Brits as a people don’t all weigh 400 pounds and have no teeth.  

Tonight was the first of many formal nights, so the DH and I dressed to impress. Fortunately, the DH likes doing a Bond impression. (He did, however, untie his tie and loosen his collar toward the end of the evening.) The evening entertainment was Apassionata, a production show put on by the ship’s troop of dancers and singers. In every lounge, you can find a pianist, or harpist or string quartet noodling away to deliver classical bliss.

There are so many activities listed, we’d run ourselves ragged trying to do them all. Tomorrow,  we hope to make the Planetarium show, try our hand at water colors again and catch the Green Spring kids whenever we can.

More soon…

Falafel, the TSA, & the NYC Bellman's Union

"Getting there is half the fun." ~ Anonymous

Whoever said that has never stood in a TSA line. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

We enjoyed spending time with #1 Daughter & Daughter-in-law on Friday night. Then on Saturday, our day began with a delightful breakfast at Coffee Zone in Columbia, MO. It's a funky, atmospheric place with an amazing selection of exotic coffees and has become something of a breakfast tradition for the four of us. 

I reveled in a smooth cup of Kona coffee and the Arabic breakfast platter which features falafel, warm pita bread, sour cream, feta cheese, olives, onions, cucumbers and tomatoes (which I slide over to the DH's plate because I regard those red fruits/vegetables as being of the Devil.) But the rest of the plate is scrummy!

The DH had a Mediterranean omelet plate and as you can see, suffered no ill effects from consuming my tomatoes.

After breakfast, #1 Daughter took us to the St. Louis airport about two hours away and dropped us off to catch out flight. We checked our big suitcases curbside and discovered our plane departed from Gate A2--not a long walk. So I politely declined the wheel chair that's always offered when people see Herkimer, my portable oxygen concentrator, and we strolled at a leisurely pace toward our gate.

Somehow, when I'm in an airport, I can pretend I'm not different from any other traveler with a rolling carry-on. Except I'm connected to mine with 7 feet of clear plastic tubing.

All was going well. I put my liquids, laptop and shoes in a bin and hoisted my other roller bag onto the conveyor to be x-rayed. Then I pointed out to the TSA agent that I had a portable oxygen concentrator and would probably need to be wanded because they wouldn't want me to take Herkimer into the body scanner with me. He asked me to step aside while he called someone to come tend to me. Since our stuff was already disappearing into the long dark tunnel, the DH had to go on through to collect it all on the other side. 

I waited. And waited. And waited some more. I was offered a chair. Which I politely declined because I figured it would be much easier for them to forget about me if I sat down. Turns out, they were quite capable of forgetting me while I stood up. Evidently none of the dozen or so TSA agents milling around the gates were authorized to deal with me. 

Finally, I offered to disconnect from Herkimer for the short time it would take me to go through the full body scanner. I could leave my supplemental O2 for that long, but then they wanted me to put my canula in a germy bin and run it through the xray instead of leaving it attached to my face.

It's a CLEAR PLASTIC TUBE!!!!! They don't need to x-ray it to see there's nothing in it but air.   

One of the agents offered to carry it for me in her blue-gloved hands, and I agreed, but then she let one end of it drop to the surely filthy floor and I had to get a new one out once I was reunited with the DH and our stuff. But in the meantime, without supplemental O2, I went the scanner that everyone goes through, and then was subjected to an additional pat down, during which I was made to remove the suspicious cough drops in my pocket.

If I'd accepted the wheelchair, I'd have been practically waved through. 

Instead I was breathless, frustrated and embarrassed. All I wanted to do was feel a little bit normal. As if I'm just like anybody else getting ready to board their flight. Any time I can forget I have a lung disease and act like an ordinary person, it's a small personal victory and I rejoice in those moments.

This episode was an epic fail.

Fortunately, our travel went up from there. The plane was late, but that's okay. The main thing is we had a lovely, unremarkable flight and I had a chance to read for a couple of uninterrupted hours. 

On approach to the Big Apple

When we arrived at the baggage pick-up in NYC, we were greeted by a Cunard representative who led us to our waiting car. The driver whisked us from Queens to Manhattan and our hotel. The car had barely come to a stop when the Hilton baggage handlers were there to unload us. Before we knew it, all our luggage was on a trolley being rushed away. We were given a ticket in exchange and told to give it to the clerk once we registered for our room. 

I've never had my baggage taken from  me completely at a hotel before. Usually the handlers stay with us through check in and then follow us to our final destination. Instead, we signed in and went empty-handed to our room after being assured that the bellman would bring the bags shortly.

Shortly is a relative term. 

The DH went down to see why the delay and offered to collect our stuff. He was told only a bellman could handle our bags.

Okey-dokey.

I'm sure it wasn't as long as if felt, but until we board the ship and unpack, I feel adrift, not sure where any of our stuff is. It was a tremendous relief when the bags all came back to us just fine.

Thanks to our friendly neighborhood Bellman.

PS. It's Sunday morning July 28th now. I overheard something at breakfast that I'd like to pass on to you now. It was from a large Italian fellow talking to his tablemate.

"I send big hearts to you."

There was nothing remotely emoji-ish about it. He clearly meant to convey affection.  As we embark on this lovely adventure, I'm adopting that sentiment. I send big hearts to you all. (Try to imagine it with an Italian accent. Trust me. It's better!) 

"And We're Off...

...in more ways than one!" ~ My clever sister Cindy could never resist adding that whenever our family set off on a trip

After months of planning, and even longer of dreaming, we're finally on our way to Norway!

"You're leaving? Say it ain't so!"

But our first stop is Columbia, MO. All our luggage is loaded into the back of the pick-up (along with the DH's chainsaw. #1 Daughter is keeping the truck for us while we're gone, and she has a few "projects" planned as long as she has use of a heavy-duty vehicle.) The puppies aren't happy about us leaving, but we know they're in good hands with #2 Daughter.   

Tomorrow, #1 Daughter will take us to St. Louis (about an hour and half drive) where we'll board our Delta flight to NYC. We like to arrive in our port city the day before we embark. 

My next post should be from the Mid-Town Hilton! 

PS. Remember, if you'd like to arm-chair travel with me, be sure to sign up to follow RoundTheWorldWriter by email using the widget in the right hand column! Thanks!

Packing my Kindle

“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go.” – Dr. Seuss

One of the things I love about cruising is the luxury of being able to read uninterrupted for as long as I want. So I've loaded up my Kindle with a number of novels to choose from on this trip.

Firstly,  C.S. Lewis's "Cosmic Trilogy." Out of the Silent Planet, Perelandra, & That Hideous Strength.  I know what you're thinking. It seems an odd choice for a  romance writer, but I'm a serious Lewis fan--both of his fiction and his non-fiction as well. I've finished the first book and am a quarter of the way through the second. I have to say that this series fails utterly as science fiction, and it has very little of the whimsy that makes The Narnia Chronicles such a delight. But I'm fascinated by Lewis's beauty of language. He makes me think.

Plus the DH and I have been taking an online course together about C.S. Lewis, so we're both reading these stories and enjoy talking about them. The only thing better than reading a book is sharing one.

I really am a science fiction geek. My newest obsession is the Expanse series by James S.A. Corey. The pen name actually represents two writers--Daniel Abraham & Ty Franck. In their richly imagined future, humans have colonized not only Mars, but numerous larger asteroids in the Belt. The "science" part of this series is completely believable, even down to the physiological changes in humans who grow up without Earth's gravity.

The political tensions between the three groups are a thinly veiled metaphor for the Old World, the New World and the Third World of today. But people are people no matter when or where we are. We still have souls and they need nourishment. As a Methodist, I love that even a couple hundred years in the future, one of their characters is a Methodist minister and the Mormons are planning a generational journey to another star. I just downloaded book 7 & 8.

And lastly, I made sure my debut  novel, Maidensong (written as Mia Marlowe) was on my Kindle. It came out in 2006, so it's been a while since I read it. But the story is set among the Vikings and I researched the heck out of it. Since we're visiting Norway, it seems appropriate for me to check out the customs, legends and lore of that fascinating culture again. And if it comes wrapped in a love story, well, that's even better.

A quick word about why, in a romance world where the Regency Era is queen, I chose to start my career in the 10th century instead of the 19th.

It's the DH's fault.

You see, he has Viking blood. His great-grandfather immigrated to the US from Norway, and his dad spoke only Norwegian until he went to school. (Sadly, he never taught the language to any of his kids.) Anyway, long story short, I've always borrowed from my DH to give to my heroes, so it was only natural that my first hero should be a Viking.

Fun Fact: This trip will actually be a homecoming for the DH. His family came from Sognefjord, the long arm of water we'll cruise up to visit Flaam!

So, what book is on your bedside table? Or your Kindle? Or your phone?

The Hurrier I Go the Behinder I Get

 Going on a trip. Need 4 outfits. Packed 35 just in case. ~ Anonymous

Honestly, it feels like I've been packing every day for the last two weeks!

Probably because I have...

But I'm beginning to see the light at the end of  my nearly denuded closet--which tells me I've over-packed again but that's another post. Here's an abbreviated version of my list:

The mounds of stuff were higher than this and there was
overflow on the coffee table

Casual Clothes
Pants--3 knit, two pairs of jeans, 1 pair of capris 
Tops--Cotton knit Tunics—6
Tanks--7

Cotton shirts--4

The chaos fits in two large cases & two rolling carry-on's.

Sweaters (cardigans)--4
Shoes--2 casual, 2 sandals, 2 heels (low heels of course!)
Smart Attire for evenings
Pants-7

Tops

Blingy tunics 10

Fancy tanks 5

Jackets/Kimonos--4
Gala--Gowns: Black, Purple, FlapperDress (for the Roaring Twenties Night!)
Pants
Black palazzos
Silver/gray palazzos
Jacket/Kimono
Black/Gold jacket, Red Sequin jacket, Purple Sequin jacket, Purple/Green Kimono, Red/Black Kimono, White Capelet,
Black/Gold Kimono, Black/Silver Kimono
Foundation garments: Camisole bras 11, PJs 2, Sleep cami 4, Undies 20, Socks 7, black nylons, knee-hi's 10, Swimsuit  & Cover-up 

Odds&Ends- Visor/Hat, Excursion Bag, Rain Poncho, Umbrellas, binoculars, sewing kit (thanks again, Marcy!), magnets (for hanging things on the walls), AAAbatteries, Power Converter (2), power strip, Phone chargers, computer &  power cord, Sleep8 & cords (an ingenious system for cleaning my bi-pap that fits snugly anywhere!)
Morpheus (my affectionate name for my bi-pap), Backpack Herkimer (Portable Oxygen for excursions) Spare POC (portable oxygen concentrator) batteries, POC battery charger, 5 canulas
Storage-- 2 purple bedside bins, Do.NoHarm hooks, 3 black bins, laundry basket, Wig hanger
Documents & stuff-- Cruise docs, passports, Vaccination records, insurance info, moneybelt, jewelry (most of which is borrowed from my mother. Thanks, Mom. I'll be at my blingy best!)

Toiletries--Prescription meds for both of us, Mucinex, Advil, Band-aids, Antibiotic cream, Pepto, Tums, Imodium, Sudafed, Excedrin migraine, Cough drops

Personal care--Hair gel, Toothbrushes, Pink moisturizer, Plexiderm, Powder, Blush, Eye shadow,

Eye pencil (2), Lipstick (3), Tweezers, Razor, hairbrush, headband, Pony tail holders, Hair pins,

Bobby pins, Hair clips, Decorative hair clips

3 wigs: Joelle, Elle, Beauty, Tribble hair, Wig brush

I'm a pretty accomplished packer if I do say so myself, but I don't pack for my DH. In fact, I broke him of it fairly early in our marriage. We went away for a weekend for which I organized a bag for both of us. However, I failed to pack ANY underwear for HIM.

He never asked me to pack again. 

Which Disney Princess are YOU?

I want adventure in the great wide somewhere.

I want it more than I can tell...

--Belle from Beauty & the Beast

We attended the opening night of our community theatre's production of this musical last week, and I was struck by the longing in Belle's first aria. This girl had plans. She had dreams. She wanted to wring every drop of joy from life she could.

She reminds me of me.

Fortunately, my dreams of adventure are about to come true. Only a few more days until we launch ourselves into the blue and head across the North Atlantic on an iconic ship. Cunard's Queen Mary 2 may be our mode of travel, but it's also a destination in itself. I can't wait to share the delights of this very British voyage with you. I'm expecting some variation of Downton Abbey afloat. Rest assured, I'll keep you updated.

Yes, we have HUGE suitcases!

This week, we've begun to pack in earnest. I've made a list of outfits based on the number of nights, and the dress code for evenings, but it's not quite complete. I'll post it once I have it all nailed down. The DH brought a folding table in from the garage and we're beginning to assemble everything in one place before we break out the suitcases.

We're trying to spare Mack and Charlie for as long as we can. Our dogs don't seem to notice things piling up in the office, but a suitcase nearly sends them into spasms. Fortunately, #2 Daughter is our designated dog-nanny, so we know they'll be well cared for while we're gone.

If they look spoiled, it's cuz they are!

The DH took a suit, a blazer, three pairs of trousers and a tie with an unfortunate tomato sauce stain to the dry cleaners yesterday. They'll all be ready after 5 today. His tux is still in the dry cleaner bag from after our last trip. He's been practicing with his bow tie.

Evidently, it's not quite like riding a bicycle!

We don't need any special vaccinations for this trip because we had Hep A, typhoid, and tetanus shots before our 2018 World Cruise. There is a warning of a measles outbreak in both Britain & Norway, but I had measles as a child and was vaccinated for rubella years ago. The DH had his MMR in 2017. After my experience with shingles in May, the DH rolled up his sleeve for the new Shingrix shot. He had the booster yesterday. I'll wait until after we return to take mine. I want to be sure the shingles are completely out of my system before I reintroduce even a non-live virus version of them.

We've chosen and booked our excursions. I'll share a bit about those in another post. We could have waited until we were on the ship to decide on our port activities, but there's always the risk that something we want to do will be sold out. Plus, it's nice to have as much paid for as possible before we embark.  Once again, we are sticking to our cruise line's offerings. Some travelers swear by independent tours, but frankly, I've had nightmares about running down a pier as my ship is pulling away. Knowing that, if something happens, the ship will wait for passengers who are delayed on one of their tours is a big plus. It makes my days ashore so much more enjoyable and stress-free.

It feels as if we've been waiting forever for this voyage, but now it's hurtling toward me. And while I go through all the final preparations for our cruise, I realize afresh how blessed I am. My heart is singing like a Disney princess.

PS. Now it's your turn. I've already revealed that my secret Disney princess identity is Belle. What's yours?

The Hair I Wear

My mom will be horrified when she sees this post.

She's of the opinion that when a woman wears a wig, no one should be the wiser. If she paid for it, it's "her" hair. However, when someone tells me I got a good haircut, I feel obliged to 'fess up and admit I'm wearing someone else's good haircut. (Actually, my wigs are synthetic, but the comment always gets a laugh!)

And maybe that's why I do it. I'd rather laugh about the solution to my thinning hair than cry about it.

Elle by Jon Renau

Several of the meds I take to keep my lung condition stable cause hair loss as a side effect. (Just once, wouldn't it be nice if a prescription could result in effortless weight loss and thicker hair--on top of my head only, please! But I digress.) Anyway, I've reached the conclusion that if I can do something to change things that are making me feel sad about myself, I should do it.

I quickly realized there's no magic shampoo, no supplement that will make my hair luxuriously thick. If there was, there would be no bald billionaires. So I started experimenting with wigs and hairpieces. 

Joelle by Tony of Beverly

I've stayed close to the color of my bio-hair, which I like to call "Fifty Shades of Grey," just in case a stray strand or two slips out. But I've tried to vary the styles. The sleek "Elle" is good for daily wear. Longer, curlier "Joelle" will be my go-to hair for formal nights on the Queen Mary 2.

But what if it's just too hot to wear one of my long wigs? Not to worry. I have  couple "equator hair" options. (Incidentally, "equator hair" also works great for the heat and humidity of the Ozarks!)

"Tribble" Hair

One is a simple little scrunchie disguised as a hair piece. My bio-hair is quite long (read as long as the lovely Joelle, but of the same general consistency as cotton candy.) I can pile it up on top of my head, slip the scrunchie over my topknot and travel happily without fretting that the back of my airplane seat is frizzing up a wig. (And yes, I know. It looks like a Tribble, doesn't it? Trust me when I tell you it looks better on my head.)

Lastly, I'll be packing the curly, clip-on my sister Linda sent me. I featured it in Puttin' on the Ritz. It, too, will be good for warmish evenings.

All my wigs have to travel in a climate-controlled environment, which means they'll be in my carry-on. First, I'll bundle each one into its own hairnet. Then into a "breathable" zippered lingerie bag for each. And finally, they'll be nestled into an over-the-shoulder bag that will count as my personal item when we  fly.

The reason I share this solution to a rather personal problem is I figure I can't be the only one who has been unhappy with changes life throws at us. There are some things I simply have to accept with as much grace as I can muster. There are some things I can fight.

Consider the hair I wear as my personal rebellion. But I wish, when someone compliments my do, I could simply say, "Thank you."

What do you think? Tell or don't tell?

PS. In case anyone is considering looking for hair to wear, I bought mine from Cysterwigs.com.

PPS. Remember, if you'd like to be sure not to miss a moment of our upcoming adventure in Norway, please sign up to follow RoundTheWorldWriter by email using the sign up widget in the right hand column!

Family Reunion and the 4th!

“I wish I could relate to the people I’m related to.” -Jeff Foxworthy

The ticker at the bottom of this blog is counting down. Our cruise to Norway is no longer a distant pinprick on the horizon, but in the meantime, our busy life goes on. 

We just returned from a trip to northern Iowa for my DH's family reunion. And contrary to the Foxworthy quote, I really love his family. As if he weren't prize enough, when I married him, I was lucky to be grafted into a big extended family with cousins and aunts and uncles and folks whose faces I recall but whose names escape me. But it's all good. Back when we were just dating, he abandoned me at a family gathering and I survived unscathed because everyone means extremely well.

We parked our camper in the DH's sister Linda's driveway. Loved her gorgeous backyard! 

It was a real pleasure to visit the DH's hometown. There's a special charm to a well-tended small town. What a joy to see some of the hundred-year-old buildings in good repair and re-purposed for new businesses.

The iconic small town newspaper office is still up and running as well! For years, the DH's uncle ran the paper and it's still in the family.

Main Street is lined with beautiful blooming flower baskets.

Of course, the weekend wasn't without its sorrow mingled with the joys. The DH's brother Wayne's ashes were interred in the cemetery at the family's country church. It's a restful place that's home to the bones of several generations of them. The breeze through the pines seems to whisper "Peace."

My S-I-L Linda took me to see a new little monument in a neighboring town--the Freedom Rock. Iowa has 99 counties and the artist, Ray "Bubba" Sorensen, has already installed his creations in 50 of them. No two designs are the same. 

What a beautiful thank you to the service men & women and their families who make our freedom possible.

And that brings me to today. We're celebrating not only the birth of our nation, but the birth of my dad! He's 84 today and the guest of honor at an old-fashioned cookout later this evening. I'm so incredibly grateful to have him and my mom in my life.

Looks like God's emptying his white paintbrush on a blue canvas, huh?

Wishing all my American friends & family a wonderful 4th! Everybody else, well... have a great Thursday!

PS to my S-I-L Linda: Thought you might like to see the little steps I bought up there so our dogs can make it up to the foot of the bed on their own. As you can see, the colors work great with our bedspread. Only trouble is...Mack and Charlie won't go near the silly thing!