Jumping Through Hoops

The British invented bureaucracy and the Indians perfected it.
~ Anonymous

Can't say I disagree.

The Pacific Princess will call at Cochin and Mumbai next spring, so the DH and I need Indian visas. By the way, even if we elected not to leave the ship, we'd still need a visa because we'll be docked in Indian waters. In fact, if we don't have a valid visa prior to embarkation in LA, we will be denied boarding. 

With no refund.

So, an Indian visa is an imperative. 

At first we thought we'd be able to swing by the Indian Consulate in Atlanta on our way to my writers' convention in Orlando next month and take care of the matter with one quick in-person visit. 

Nope.

We'd have to reside in one of the southeastern states in order to make use of that consulate. Our consulate would be the one in Chicago, which is still a hard day's drive away. Oh, wait! We can't even apply for a visa at that consulate because the government of India has outsourced all visa applications to a third party, CKGS. 

So, after several fits and starts, my DH finished filling out our Indian visa applications and on Wednesday, June 28th, we sent off our package of supporting documents to CKGS, the official go-between for the Indian government. The fact that it wasn't shipped back immediately gives us hope that we've done everything correctly.

The application is a very frustrating process. My DH retired from Google and even he was ready to chuck the computer out the window a few times. You start on the CKGS site, then switch to the Government of India site, and then you hit the spot where the online questionaire asks if you want to make an appointment. BTW, there is no real appointment. That's code for "It's time to click back to the CKGS site."

If you ever have to apply for an Indian Visa, here are a few tips:

1. Allow pop-ups. If you don't, you won't be able to complete the document.
2. Plan on trying more than once. It took my DH 3 tries to get it all done within the prescribed time limit. (Yes, this is a timed test.) 
3. You'll need your original passport and a photo copy of it, a photo copy of your drivers license, a copy of your marriage license (I needed to show ours to explain my name change 41 years ago!), a recent passport type picture that adheres to their stringent requirements (See the photo rules below!).
4. They ask which countries you've visited in the last 10 years. (I hope one of them is not Pakistan. They don't seem to like Pakistanis a lot!) 
5. They ask if you, your parents, or grandparents are Pakistani. (Don't know what happens if you say yes, but I suspect you won't like it. Fortunately, my DH's ancestors were Vikings, and my people came to America from England back in the 1600's. Which tells me they were probably in trouble in the Old Country, but at least the old country won't get me in trouble for my Indian visa.)
6. The application asks if you have any distinguishing physical characteristics. (The site itself recommends you put "none.")
7. You will need an Indian address and phone number where you can be reached while you're in the country. We used the address of the port in Cochin and the 800 number for Princess and crossed our fingers. 

Submitting the application cost $155 a piece, including shipping which is part of their process. They caution against using Fed-Ex. Evidently it gums up the works for them.

Then there was the matter of getting new pictures for our Indian visas. There are several requirements for HOW this picture is to look.

1. It cannot be the same image as your passport photo.
2. We must be wearing a solid color top (not black or white) in front of a light background.
3. The shot must be taken from straight on. (No overhead, slimming selfies, please!)
4. If you wear glasses, you must wear glasses in the photo, but you must make sure there's no glare from the glasses in the photograph, so tip your head slightly up or down. (NOT side to side.)
5. The picture must be 2 inches X 2 inches. 

July 3rd Update

It seems our Indian visa applications have been to the consulate and are now back in CKGS's custody being "sorted." The good thing about working with CKGS is that they have notified us by email at each step along the way--when our online application was accepted, when they received the packet with our paper docs & passports, when it had been reviewed and sent to the consulate, and now when the application is in the queue to be shipped back to us. 

July 6th Update!  

Two slim UPS packages arrived on our doorstep just before 5:00 this evening. We now have shiny new Indian visas in our hot little hands. Well, to be honest, they're in our passports, but you get the jist. 

This whole process reminded me of dealing with the Vogons from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. (In case you missed either the book or movie, Vogons are the inter-planetary bureaucrats who live for forms in triplicate and for whom denial is a knee jerk response.)

But, true to the spirit of Hitchhikers, we DON'T PANIC.

Instead, I try to take a different point of view. I suspect a visitor from another country finds getting a USA visa just as daunting. And maybe it's even worse, depending on where you're coming from. 

India is a sovereign nation. They have every right to regulate who comes into their country. I have nothing but curiosity and gratitude in my heart about visiting India, especially since my favorite book of all time THE FAR PAVILIONS by MM Kaye is set there. Others may not feel so friendly toward India. They are right to scrutinize their visitors. If we have to work a little harder for the privilege of an Indian visa, we'll be that much more appreciative when we actually see Mumbai and Cochin.    

But the whole tediousness getting visas proved that Thornton Wilder was so right. "Whenever you get near the human race, there's layers and layers of nonsense."